(the cat is the cool one)

…food babies. such a bittersweet time, while they’re nesting in your mid-section – making them was such a fun and invigorating process, but having them there – it does complicate things, if we’re being entirely truthful here. the body has to make all sorts of accommodations. and man, are those suckers hard to push out! hours of sweating, straining, and finally they’re out of you and into the world, creating their own aura.

it’s a real condition, people. less than an inch? if there is a god, there is a distinct possibility that he wasn’t entirely focused on the task at hand when your parents boogied. guys, listen closely. if you have a micropenis and want to do something about it, see a doctor. there are MANY options. in the old days, they just got rid of it entirely and made a vagina, before you could even keep your eyelids open. now, you get a choice. don’t worry, some day some woman (or man) will love you no matter your size. but women rip hair from the roots all over their body, cover their faces with paint and walk on stilts, so don’t give me crap about accepting bodies as they are. It would also help if this guy trimmed.